Many fathers are negligent regarding their families and children during these times.A child might watch
something reprehensible in the home, which would embed itself in their mind slowly and their heart
would become inclined to sinful actions.
There are many reprehensible matters in the homes which can be divided into three categories :
First category : Reprehensible actions which are specific to the head of the household.
These are very dangerous, because the child is raised while seeing his role model doing those actions, such as smoking and watching movies and soap operas. Some of them order their children to stay
away from sins, but they commit them in front of them, then ask later on: why did my child go astray?
Listen to some elementary school teachers who relate what the children speak about innocently and
spontaneously concerning reprehensible actions that occur in their homes. One of them said: “One of
my students spoke to me, and he was in one of the elementary levels. He said: ‘My father drinks
alcohol in the house, but when his friends come to drink alcohol together, he takes us out of the room.’ I
said: ‘Perhaps they are drinking juice,’ and the child said: ‘No, I know it, they are drinking alcohol.’”
This young boy of six years old has this to say about his father. The father thinks that if he takes his boy
out of the room he will not know what is happening. It did not cross his mind that children are intelligent
and can understand many things. Another child said to his teacher: “My father does to the maid what
my mother does to the driver.” Do you realize what the father is doing and what the mother is doing!?
What do we hope from such children when they become older? What kind of life, misery, and
unhappiness will overcome these children while they witness such awful immoral actions being
perpetrated in their homes?!
Second category : Reprehensible matters which are specific to women and children but are facilitated
by a man for his family. He might do so just to let them have some leisure, and does not wish to plant
different types of sin and evil in them.
Many things that are facilitated for our children conflict with religion and our beliefs and plant polytheism
and disbelief in them. Some cartoons, for example, plant the love of magic and magicians in the hearts
of our children, while magic is disbelief in Allaah the Exalted. In such movies, or in some video games,
you find that the magician is a good person, helps the innocent, and fights the criminals. So, you find
that the child wishes that the “good” magician is victorious. Therefore, look how the beliefs are turned
upside down. We do not mean that we should not give our families and children their rights in recreation
or lawful leisure that is free of blameworthy matters, but, from the rights of the family and children on
their parents is that they provide them with beneficial games, various types of lawful leisure, and to
remove anything that would corrupt their religion or mind.
Earlier, when we would hear about an individual bringing things into the household that corrupts them,
we should think that they just want them to amuse themselves and make them happy, and that they
were heedless with regards to the types of corruption that such things cause. We did not believe that
anyone would purposely try to corrupt their families, until I heard some stories that are contrary to
intellect and sound nature. One of the young women said: “My father used to bring pornographic
movies to the house and used to force me to watch them while I was two years and a half.”
Another says: “My father, since I was young, would take us with him to disbelieving countries during
summer break. He would take us with him to bars that had dancing and corruption. After we got older
and became young women who reached puberty, he would order us to dance with young disbelieving
men. He would give us to them by his own hand in order to dance with them, and they could do what
they wanted to us.” These are two stories I have heard myself and they were not told to me by anyone
besides the two narrators.
These are astonishing examples that indicate complete bankruptcy of religion, manners, modesty, and
the instinct to safeguard one's family and preserve their modesty. These are examples that are present
in our Islaamic society. We are not talking about American or English societies in the disbelieving
nations, we are talking about something that is present among us; this is how some of them raise their
children, then we ask why sins are so widespread in our societies, why there are so many indecent
incidents, and why fornication is so widespread.
Third category :
Immorality and immodesty in society works its way into our homes. The growing corruption and
decadence in the markets, streets, and schools easily work their ways into our homes, because our
children go to these places and mix with both righteous and corrupt people. The presence of corrupt
individuals is glaring in our societies today. Thus, the head of the household must warn their families
and children from learning from this society.
The Muslim who is a sincere advisor must constantly supplicate to Allaah the Exalted to safeguard their
family from the prevailing decadence and widespread destructive sins in our societies today.
For example, Loote (Lot), may Allaah exalt his mention, lived in a corrupt society, and his people did not
accept that he and his family be far from sin, and they pressured him in various ways. What did he say?
He used to pray fervently to Allaah and call on Him, saying (what means):
"My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do." [QUR’AAN 26:169] He, may
Allaah exalt his mention, was keen on saving his family from corruption, and now, every Muslim with a
sound mind should say: "My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do."
[QUR’AAN 26:169] Because the corruption that is present in our societies is similar to those of the
people of Loote, may Allaah exalt his mention,; rather, they are more.
Allaah the Exalted answered the supplication of Loote, may Allaah exalt his mention, as He the Exalted
Said (what means): "So We saved him and his family, all," [QUR’AAN 26:170] This is the recompense
of honesty and sincerity.
Here are some examples from the guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, and his
Companions in correcting some reprehensible matters in their homes:
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, rejected certain blameworthy acts in his home: `Aa’ishah,
may Allaah be pleased with her, said that she purchased a cushion that had some images on it. When
the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, saw her, he stood at the door and did not enter. She realized
that he disliked something and said: “O Allaah’s Messenger, I ask the forgiveness of Allaah and of His
Messenger; what have I done wrong?” He, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: “What is that cushion?”
She said: I purchased it so that you can sit and lie down on it.” He, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said;
“Those who create these images will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them
: ‘Bring to life what you have created.".In another narration, it states that he did not enter until she
removed it from the house.
Also, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, expelled an effeminate man who had no desire for
women who used to visit the wives of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam,. Then, he described
one of the women of At-Taa’if, and the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: “This one shall not
enter on you.”
`Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, reprimanded wailing and struck the wailing woman: Al-
Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, reported without a chain that `Umar expelled the sister of
Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, when she wailed.Ibn Hajar, may Allaah have mercy on him,
said: “Ibn Sa`d narrated it with a complete chain of narration in At-Tabaqaat, with an authentic chain of
narration, from Sa`eed ibn Al-Musayyib who said: ‘When Abu Bakr died, one of his relatives was
wailing over him. When `Umar heard of that, he prohibited them from doing so, but they did not listen.
He said to Hishaam ibn Al-Waleed: ‘Let us go to the home of Abu Quhaafah –meaning, that woman.’
Then, he began striking the home with a stick or whip, and the wailing women left after hearing of that.”
In another narration: “He expelled them, one woman at a time, while striking them with a stick or whip.”
Ibn Mas`ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, and his freeing himself from reprehensible actions: Look
and reflect on the story of `Abdullaah ibn Mas`ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, when he said:
“May Allaah curse the tattooed women, those women that tattoo other women, women who pluck their
eyebrows, and women who create gaps in their teeth to beautify themselves, because they are
changing the creation of Allaah.” One of the women from Banu Asad called Umm Ya'qoob heard this
and came up to him and said: “I see your family doing something of the sort.” He said: “Go and see if
they do that.” She went and saw but did not see what she wanted to see. Ibn Mas`ood, may Allaah be
pleased with him, said: “Had it been thus, I would not be with her under one household.”The meaning is
that he would not be in one home with her, would not be her companion, would not be with her, and
would not allow her to remain in his house.
Abu Moosa, may Allaah be pleased with him, and his warning his family against some prohibited
matters: Abu Burdah reported that Abu Moosa, may Allaah be pleased with him, experienced some
pain that caused him to become unconscious while his head was in the lap of one of his female
relatives. She began to scream, but he was unable to say anything to her. When he woke up, he said: “I
am free from what Allaah’s Messenger, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, freed himself from. Allaah’s
Messenger, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, freed himself from women that raise their voices and scream
during calamities, women that shave and cut their hair during calamities, and women that tear their
clothes during calamities.”Here, we have Abu Moosa Al-Ash`ari, may Allaah have mercy on him,
rebuking his wife while on the deathbed. Should not those who are enjoying sound health take that as a
lesson and call their family to goodness while rebuking them for reprehensible matters?
Latest from umme huraira
- 18.Patience and loving Allâh [Patience and gratitude-Imaam Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah
- 17.Patience is half of Îmân [Patience and gratitude-Imaam Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah]
- 16. Patience at the time of bereavement [Patience and gratitude-Imaam Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah]
- 15.Sahâbah on the virtues of patience [Patience and gratitude-Imaam Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah]
- 14.Ahâdîth about patience [Patience and gratitude-Imaam Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah]