One of the rights that the legislation has set is that one should avoid being absent from their family for long
periods of time without a cause or need. They should also not be absent or away without a reason. If a person
travels for a reason and completes what they need to do in their travels, he should go back. That is what the
Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, ordered in the Hadeeth: “Travel is a part of punishment. One of you would
be deprived of his food, drink, and sleep. If one of you completes their needs, let them hasten to their family.” This
contains the undesirability of being absent from one’s family without a purpose, because with the father traveling,
there is obvious hardship on the wife and children. When Imaam Al-Haramayn (Al-Juwayni), may Allaah have
mercy on him, sat in the position of his father, he asked why traveling is a part of punishment, but then answered
quickly that it entails abandoning and parting with loved ones. The affection of the father and his sitting with his
children and family is something extremely important, because it fulfils a psychological need that stems from their
Some callers to Islaam give the excuse of Da`wah, and go out for long periods traveling for Da`wah, and might
even leave their family and children. Others are absent for Dunya-related purposes. They travel for reasons
that are not necessities and they have no need to do so. No doubt, this creates a real problem and a break in the
relationship of the father with his children, and the husband with his wife.
Actually, long absences from the wife might lead to her corruption or infidelity. There are many women who fell
into adultery and have given the excuse that their husbands have been absent from them for long periods of time.
One of them said that her husband had travelled five years prior, and that she had not seen him since then.
Another said that her husband did not have intercourse with her for ten years. Is this conceivable, O slaves of
Some people travel and do not leave enough sustenance to support their family in terms of sustenance in their
homes. Also, they do not ask anyone to be watchful over them when they are absent. In some homes, the head
of the household leaves, and leaves it free of any food or even water. The People of the house did not find any
money to buy anything, because the man did not leave anything that would suffice them. One of the children
could be sick but they might not have anyone to drive them to the hospital. A young woman might have to take
her child out alone at night to carry it to the hospital and might get a cab with a driver who might take advantage
of her weakness and her being alone in the empty streets, and do not even ask what happens next.
Disasters resulting from the father's absence:
Society is suffering from the ill-effects of due to a father's absence. What are we trying to achieve? Are we
trying to reach the level that the disbelievers have reached?
In the United States of America, the absence of fathers is one of the biggest problems, as only 51 percent of
children live with their biological fathers. 30 percent of children are born of adulterous relationships. In the 1960’s,
only 17 percent of children lived away from their fathers, but it developed into 38 percent after only thirty years.
That has led to emotional yearning and gaps in the child which in turn lead to violence, savageness, and
barbaric acts, to the point that some children killed both their father and mother. That is why an author wrote a
book called: ‘American Orphans,’ speaking about how many children live without the care of their father. Children
there are, therefore, orphans; you find a mother that has abandoned her child and a father that is busy and
traveling. This author states: “The gun culture prevalent among children has been the product of the absenteeism
of the father and mother with regards to their children. Psychologists has found that if the father is absent from
their child, they imagine things in their heads; they begin to imagine and create a story that has a child with his
father, and that his father brings various toys, takes them places, and so forth. So, the deficiency of reality is filled
in with imagination. That is why there are psychological problems and emotional disruptions.
Further, the absence of the father increases the chances of the child being introverted, having psychological
defects and disorders, drug addiction, crimes, suicide, and sexual assaults. The number of murders that have
occurred at the hands of teenagers that are below the age of 18 has increased by 125 percent between 1984 and
1994, meaning, through the course of ten years.”
These are the effects of the absenteeism of parents and the sacrifices of abandonment and negligence.It is
something that they pay for with their blood and health due to their distance from the religion. Are we pleased
with ourselves to become like that? So, O fathers, save yourself and your families from the Fire by not being
absent from them.
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